The last few months have affected us all in different ways, whether it’s been working from home, mastering home-schooling, understanding and following the government guidelines or just focusing on your physical and mental health. For me the ups and downs of lockdown have been varied and unpredictable.

The Ups and Downs of Lockdown

The Downs

(Getting the negativity out of the way first)

Working From Home

For me, working from home for the first six weeks of lockdown was incredibly difficult. I don’t actually have a job that can be done from home so having to spend hours a day sitting at a laptop, doing makeshift admin that I would never normally be doing was exhausting and stressful.

I’ve mentioned this quite heavily in my review of April so you can read more if you want.

Not Going Out

I wasn’t classed as high-risk for the disease but I do have a heart condition and am prone to chest infections and live with my Dad who is over 70 so I wanted to limit my time outside as much as possible – this meant that I only left my house once a week for food shopping. I have always considered myself to be quite lazy – I love a lie-in and have no issue with sitting in front of the TV for a few hours. However, what I hadn’t considered was that when I’m at work I don’t spend the whole day sitting at a desk, I do actually do quite a bit of moving and walking, and when I’m travelling I love nothing better than walking and exploring.

I’m not the most spontaneous person but I have been surprised how much I’ve missed the opportunity to just hop on a bus and head somewhere for the day, or grab a coffee on the way home from the supermarket.

Failing to Focus

Normally I would either be planning a future trip, preparing for a trip or having just returned from a trip. All of this would result in the planning and creation of blog and social media content. I would be inspired, excited, focused, productive and feeling creative. With no travel plans and feeling uncertain about the future I haven’t been inspired or creative in any way.

I’ve had days where it’s felt as though my brain has literally stopped working.

This blog post was spontaneous and written quite quickly, mostly driven by boredom.

Comparing My Experience

It’s been extremely difficult to look at social media or even the mainstream media and not feel as though my experience over the last few months has been the opposite of other people’s.

I haven’t magically turned into a green-fingered goddess, I haven’t been baking sourdough, I haven’t joined a choir (thank goodness) or discovered some deeply-buried talent that I can showcase to the world.

I don’t know about you, but whenever I see the endless Instagram posts and stories and the YouTube videos from people across the world showing how creative, productive and talented they are, it doesn’t make me feel inspired, it makes me feel like a failure.

The Ups

(now for the positives)

Reading More

I love any excuse to read more, give me a good book, a quiet room and a sweet black coffee and I’m the happiest girl in the world. If there was one thing I was going to do with my enforced time off work and the inability to travel it was read. I have a slight addiction to buying books so I always have piles of books waiting to be picked through and devoured.

Reading makes me happy, even if I haven’t loved the book, the physical act of making time, finding a quiet space and diving head first into the words of someone else is, for me, one of life’s greatest joys.

Eating Well

Anyone who knows me will attest that I don’t have a huge appetite or huge interest in food. However, with more time on my hands I have found that I actually quite enjoy spending time in the kitchen.

I may not know what I’m doing, or even know what I’m making until it’s on the plate, and I may leave a kitchen looking as though there’s been an explosion, but generally 99% of the time what I make is edible and for me, that’s all that matters.

I’m not a junk food addict though and I’m definitely not a baker, but three meals a day made from scratch for the last ten weeks can’t be bad.

Revaluating My Future

I’m not going to lie, the last ten weeks have lead me to do a huge amount of thinking, everything from whether I still want to be doing my job at the end of the year, to how and why I travel, from the direction I want to take the blog, to the fact that my introverted nature has never been so comfortable and happy as it is right now.

Every day had been different, there has been physical and emotional exhaustion, anxiety, stress, and guilt, but there have also been elements of quiet, relaxation, reflection and enjoyment.

Life is changing, for everyone. There is no way of knowing what it will look like in the coming days, weeks or months. There doesn’t seem much point in looking to far ahead as the here and now seems so unpredictable, but whatever happens I hope it’s for the better.

What have the last two months been like for you?

Let me know in the comments.